31st December 2011.

Hello all, finally, its the last day of the year. This year seems to pass really fast, with many events happening and a huge transition in my life. So, as the tradition goes, I will do a recap of what happened in this whole year. Just as you may have realized, this year I don't blog as much as I used to. I guess I was too caught up with stuffs in life and that I did not have time to update my blog.

I wanted to do like what I did for the past two years (reading back my old entries for the whole year but apparently I didn't blog much in 2011, plus most of the entries are crappy ones) so, yeah no what-happened-from-Jan-Dec thing this year. Huge transition, my so-called most unwanted time of my entire life has finally arrived in 2011. That, is another phase in life - THE WORKING LIFE. There was never a time when I really thought about what am I going to do in the future, what do I want to be (remember our teachers in school used to ask us what is our ambition in the future?) - and my answers would be - A TEACHER. Hahaha it was one of the most popular answers back then. All I ever thought about was to just go with the flow - from primary school, to secondary school, then to form six, and then pursue my degree in local university and finally start working. Because that was what happened in the family, my sisters did that, and so I thought I will do the same. Which I did. Even up to when I was supposed to choose the course for my university, I didn't know what I want. And again went with the flow. I just took everyone's advice and turned it to my own decision. And now, I have finally graduated and stepped into the most horror time of my life - the working life. I guess its the most horror time of my life is because I just didn't want to grow up. I just wanted to be a kid, with no worries at all.

The whole of 2011 was like a two different world for me. First half of the year I was still a student enjoying my life with my friends and live a carefree life. The second half of the year was a big change for me when I finished my studies and came back to Kuching for good. I am now working, experiencing the real working world for approximately four months now, which I am not so happy about but I chose to work here anyways just because I love the people here - they are very nice. My life has changed 360. I am no longer able to sleep in the morning and wake up in the evening anymore. I have more worries in life, more stressed up than ever. And the worst thing is I work until late every single day and my work is still not done. Guess that is where I am supposed to grow up and be more matured, try to manage my time (yes that's what people ALWAYS tell me) and just enjoy life as it is.

Well, at least I went for a vacation before I started my next phase in life. The vacation was good, I truly enjoyed it. Read more of my vacation here.

SAWADEEKAAAAA :)

I have gained so much experience in life, during my university days and the working life. I can definitely tell you that we should always enjoy our student life - not just being a nerd and study and get Dean's List but also to enjoy the student life because it is a once in a lifetime experience. Once we go past that, we don't get to experience it anymore. And for myself, I am still in the process of learning about life and everything else as I have just stepped into the real world. I would want this year to be a better year - who wouldn't want that?

And this, is me finally graduated. With a very proud-of-myself look. Well, I did survived 3 years of university.

All in all, 2011 is a year that is full of love, tears, sadness, separation, excitement, fear and most of all joy. I am also truly blessed to have met amazing people who came into my life. I thank God for the amazing ones. You know who you are. and YES, you are reading this now :)

So, 2011 is done. So what's next in list for 2012? Any new year resolution? I don't think I ever completed any of my new year resolutions so there's no point setting a new one - but I don't even remember my old ones! Crappylogy!

Well there are a few things that I would want to achieve in 2012.
1) Look deep inside me and search for what I really want, what God really wants me to do.
2) Always catch up with people that matters to me even when I am busy and be with people that I love.
3) Go travel!
4) More of travelling!
5) And travelling! (Before that I have to work save $ work save $ and work save $!)

Yup, that's about it. Nevertheless, 2011 has been a great year for me. Looking forward to 2012, the year of the GREAT DRAGON - fyi. its MY YEAR :)

How can you believe in God?

Something that caught my eye when I was browsing through my Facebook.
Taken from HERE

How can you believe in God?

If you are not at all religious and you are reading my blog, you might wonder “how on earth can she believe so strongly in a God she hasn’t seen? Aren’t we living in 2011?” Nowadays it’s not so common in the west anymore to grow up in a religious family, God is a little bit outdated and unfortunately people blindly choose the way of the society, without giving God a second thought. I’m not despising anyone, because we are all a product of our society, but too many people consider atheism to be the highest norm, or the only “normal” belief.

But to give an answer to the question “How can you believe in God?” I have to start to tell you that believing is not something based upon a research or proof. If you can prove it, you don’t need faith because you already have the evidence. Belief, or faith, is a supernatural experience and a miracle that takes place in your heart after coming in contact with God Himself. It’s also a choice that we need to make even though we don’t have all evidences. I can never prove that God is real, I have experienced talking to Him and I have had answers to my prayers, but how can I tell someone else to believe just based on that? It’s impossible.

I have spent hours and hours reading the bible, which is Gods Word, and I believe the Word has a supernatural ability to convince us in our spirit that God is real. But once again, that’s something which is real for me and I can never prove it to you. Science can also not prove God’s existence, because God is Spirit and science deal only with the physical things. You can believe in science and you can still believe in God, but if you believe that science is the only true authority, then you cannot believe in God, because science can never prove the spiritual realm.

In India for example, where I live, almost everyone believes in something greater than what they see. Either you are a Hindu, a Muslim, a Christian or something else. Everyone accepts that there is a supernatural world, except maybe a few atheists. I know many other countries like that where the spiritual world is totally accepted in the society, but not in many western countries. In Sweden where I am born and raised, they teach atheism in schools, and they have completely removed all prayer, biblereading and Christianity from a country which is projected as a Christian country. If you live in Sweden and believe in God, you are considered as either naive or as someone who had a rough childhood and has a need of comfort in religion. Believing in God is almost as naive as believing in Santa Claus.

But I want to tell you that I have read science, I have had a good childhood, I have not taken my decision based on my parents belief, I grew up in an atheist “science-believing” society, I have both religious and non religious friends, I am not mentally retarded, but I still believe in God. Why?

Why I believe
It’s basically like this; Yes I grew up in a Christian family, but that didn’t make me a Christian, just as you can’t become a car by just sitting in the garage. It was not until I chose to give Him a chance, to step out of my mentally “thinking-right” boundaries, that everything changed. When I gave Him a chance He came to me. He became real to me and I cannot explain how. I have never seen Him physically, but i have experienced His reality.

Sometimes when I have had a question to God I use to ask it, and in a short period of time I got the answer somehow, through something I read, through someone who spoke to me, or just a thought that came up within me or something that came up on TV. The answer was just sent by God. When I used to pray I could feel His presence coming into the room, and He would sit there and listen to my prayers. Once again, that is nothing I can prove to you, I just know it very strongly. Sometimes I have prayed and asked for things, at certain times very difficult things, and God has somehow made sure I got it. I cannot doubt it was from Him. Other times I have been in danger and experienced His protection. One day I was in a very tough situation and my mother (who lived in another city) woke up in the middle of the night and felt a strong need and an urge to pray for my protection, without knowing anything about the situation. No one can come and tell me that wasn’t God. I have also seen people in wheelchairs stand up and walk after a prayer in Jesus’ name, I have seen deaf people starting to hear after prayer, my mom had a leg that grew out 10 cm after prayer when she was a young teenager, people who have prayed for me have received exact visions and specific words from God which fits into me and my family’s situation, and they don’t even know me or my family.

Well I can tell of endless experiences which makes me even more sure of Gods existence, but even then I must say that it wasn’t these kind of things that made me believe in God. I believed long before I experienced these things. Even if I would never had experienced anything supernatural during my lifetime I would still believe, because faith is a choice, and religion is a relationship. It’s a relationship with God Himself that we must entertain on a regular basis, just like any relationship. If someone would ask me, I would say “Of course God exist, I just spoke to Him today“. My love/faith to God is not based upon supernatural experiences, it’s based in just that; love, and fellowship with Him. To be able to believe in what you cannot see is a great miracle. It’s a conviction that takes place in my heart. I just know that I know that I know that God is real.

But it’s also a personal choice. You can never become a believer just because someone says that you are in the need of a savior to wash away your sins, even though it’s true, we are all sinners, and we can’t have a relationship with God unless our sins are being washed away. But it doesn’t start with someone else telling you. It starts within your own heart. The bible says that no one can come to the Father unless the Spirit of God draws Him near, close to Himself. God always makes the first initiative. But just the fact that you have read this article is a sign that He has already taken that initiative towards you. The response is left to your side.

It’s this easy; either you give Him a chance, or you skip the idea. There is no one to force you and there is no one to hinder you, the choice is yours and you do whatever you like. But if you want to give it a try I just want to tell you that God is the most wonderful person I know, and that no one has ever lost anything trying to know Him. The only thing you have to do is ask Jesus to forgive your sins, because He has the ability of washing it all away, as if it have never happened. And secondly you have to welcome Him into your life as the highest authority; that’s means, whatever He says in His Word (the bible) is the best for you and me, because it is written out oflove. And prayer is not a formal thing, simply talk and express yourself as you are talking to a person. Why all this change of voice and special “prayer positions” and all those things? Be relaxed when you pray, be yourself and know there is a wonderful loving father listening to your prayer, and there are millions of angels in heaven dancing and rejoicing over a person who prays for the first time.

God bless you!